Photocopied Santa Claus Part One: Lists and Lists

In the introduction I wrote mere minutes ago, I mentioned a certain cheap gift bag that my dad and I found for ninety-nine cents at Ingles. We actually bought it, if you can believe that. Anyway, I snapped some pictures of it with my cell phone, and got the original pic of the Internet. Here they are. I’m going to get better pictures later, but for now, here are these:

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Recognize Mr. Claus? Hint hint: he’s the 60’s mascot for Coca-Cola soda pop. So, yeah. Can you say “cheap copy”?

Here’s a list of reasons why we can tell it’s a rip-off

  • Look at the gift in his hand. It’s extremely cheap. I mean, just look. It doesn’t even match the Santa artwork!
  • The stars are obviously fake for the same reason as above.
  • Why is he randomly holding his hand up?! I mean, come on. It’s so lame it burns.
  • He’s smiling rather happily for sitting in a completely dark room with creepy little stars dotting the sky (or is it a ceiling?)
  • It looks as though his hands are melting into the gift. What the heck!

And here’s a list of things I’m going to do to finish “The Santa Scam”:

  1. Contact Ingles and ask the manager who the manufacturer is
  2. Contact the manufacturer and ask who designed the bag.
  3. Call the guy who designed the bag.
  4. Talk to the guy who designed it and ask if he feels good about ripping off a piece of classic Coke.
  5. Ask if he has a portfolio.
  6. Post the results on this website.
  7. Skip around in the pansies.
  8. Ummmmm….. pizza?